Always His Fault
by vladimira-chan
Summary: Sasuke can find a way to blame Naruto for everything. After all, the idiot is just plain ridiculous. Slight SasuNaruSasu; fluffy.


**A/N: Written because I have neglected to contribute adequately to the fandom of my OTP, and because I had to write something fluffy. ^^**

**Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.**

**Warnings: Abuse of the word ridiculous. _Very slight _violence and profanity. Spoilers...maybe.**

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When Sasuke first came back to Konoha, events progressed in the following fashion: a lot of cursing at Pein, Madara and the Akatsuki in general, courtesy of Sasuke; a lot of cursing at God, Itachi and life in general, courtesy of Sasuke, and a lot of rude comments, sexual innuendos and politically incorrect observations, courtesy of Sasuke's team.

And, as to speak of the devil was to will him to appear, Madara showed up before long, which led to Sasuke losing what was left of rational thought and attacking his ancestor without much prior reasoning. His physical state went downhill from there, and before long he was nearly out of chakra facing Itachi's accusing and painfully innocent face, which turned into his mother and pulled out a kunai and plunged it into his heart, and Sasuke couldn't help but curse Naruto. Where was the idiot when he actually needed him? Not that Sasuke _needed_ him, just that he'd be helpful.

And just like that, the genjutsu dissipated and Madara was standing before him, simply _radiating_ smugness. Sasuke didn't know why until he realized there was a warm hand pressing onto his shoulder, which disappeared quickly and was compensated for by a rough, deeper-than-he-remembered voice shouting "Kage bunshin no jutsu!"

Yes, fate was mocking him. Sasuke caught the motion of Madara's jutsu just barely with his Sharingan, and immediately tackled the real Naruto to the ground to avoid it.

_Bait_. He was _bait_. The last Uchiha should have more worth to the first Uchiha than bait for the nine-tails, and he probably would have, if Naruto wasn't so…ridiculous.

Yes, it was all Naruto's fault, one way or another. Sasuke was sure that in the deepest recesses of his mind, he was blaming Naruto for his inner torment and for that Cloud jinchuuriki's lack of musical talent and for Karin's libido.

One way or another, it was also Naruto's fault that he was in Konoha's hospital, hardly able to do more than blink and being fussed over constantly by Sakura. He hadn't liked her obsessive-admirer side much, but he was sure he would take it over her current personality, which was a mix of murderous intent, exasperation and mother-hen mentality.

Yet, Sakura's perpetual mood swings were better than the visits he got from that ANBU sent to assassinate him, who asked him politely on his first conscious day if he was, indeed, in possession of a penis, and, if he did indeed possess one, did he have other fundamental parts, and, if indeed he had _those_, why was he so feminine? The replacement then ignored Sasuke's trembling and the way his teeth were clenching and showed him a highlighted passage from some book, which, in Sasuke's opinion, was highly misogynistic and didn't fit him _at all_.

So Sasuke didn't really know what to expect when Naruto finally visited him—three weeks after he'd entered the hospital, though it was probably because Naruto had been in the hospital too, but Sasuke didn't need reasoning when he was blaming Naruto, because Naruto was just…ridiculous.

He was propped up on a pillow when the blond idiot walked into the room, and it was interesting because Naruto actually looked a little unsure about what he was doing. He avoided Sasuke's eyes for a few minutes, instead studying the hospital room and pacing around uncertainly, one hand twisting around the ridiculously long amount of cloth falling from the knot of his forehead protector.

It was ridiculous.

Finally, Sasuke got impatient, because it wasn't very Naruto-like to not talk at all. In fact, the last time he'd seen the idiot, it had been Sasuke doing the talking and Naruto staring at him in shock, and that had just been…wrong. It only bothered him because it was absurd and such things annoyed him. Not like he was worried, or anything.

The silence stretched on, and finally Sasuke cleared his throat imperiously and Naruto looked at him, almost by reflex.

"What do you want, idiot?"

Naruto watched him silently for a moment before he smiled, and Sasuke allowed himself to bask in the way that smile made him forget everything—before he remembered that he was forgetting, and then shoved any possible explanations for such odd behavior into a faraway corner of his mind.

And that smile twisted itself almost simultaneously into a wry smirk. Naruto lifted his chin and folded his arms across his chest.

"Ha! _I _beat you!"

"We weren't fighting," Sasuke muttered.

"I beat you at beating that Madara guy. You couldn't have done it alone!"

Sasuke glared and leaned back into the bed, closing his eyes. "Whatever."

"Don't say whatever! I just saved the entire village, bastard!"

Sasuke smirked. "Sure you did." He opened his eyes a fraction to enjoy the sight of Naruto's eyes bulging up and his fists clenching in speechless rage.

"I did! You were there!"

"You couldn't have defeated Madara without the aid of a Sharingan user, while all I needed to defeat him was a moderately skilled ninja to help counteract the Mangyekou. I had a team. Therefore, your presence was only one of chance, and I could have defeated him just as well myself."

That wasn't true, of course, but Naruto being ridiculous was enough reason to stretch the truth.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, _Sasuke-chan_," Naruto said, grinning. After that, they lapsed back into silence, and Naruto sat down on Sasuke's visitors' chair and watched the ceiling while Sasuke closed his eyes again and leaned into the bedsheets.

Then he reached the oddest conclusion of all.

It was kind of _nice_.

It wasn't the kind of _bad_ silence Naruto had maintained when he'd first entered the room, or the stretched, fiery silence that had been between them in their genin days when Kakashi had gotten exasperated by their constant bickering and forced them to play the Quiet Game.

And, thank God, it wasn't that cold, disappointing silence that the adults used to give him when he'd ask a question they didn't want to answer. He'd learned to hate that silence first from Itachi.

It wasn't a happy silence either; it didn't make him want to laugh, but it gave him a moment to realize that his body was still tense and that his shoulder didn't hurt as much anymore.

It was peaceful.

Sasuke let himself smile for a moment and drift off to sleep. He didn't have a headache for once, and there were no annoying teammates creating background noise…

Well, except for Naruto's snoring, but Naruto was the exception, because he was just…ridiculous.

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**Review?**


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